Marked!

So, last week, we were Stamped as I wrote about experiencing the World Vision Experience: AIDS exhibit. This week at church, we had Ash Wednesday. As far as I know, it is a made-up holiday. But underneath the stories of the ashes poofing upon impact due to carpet static and pastors using printer toner in place of ashes, the holiday has significant meaning. It is meant as an extended time to prepare oneself for Good Friday and the Easter celebration that follows. Since our church is normally loud, enthusiastic, and video few every weekend, it is nice to have a few times a year we come together as our campus and quietly observe holidays. We do this twice a year: Thanksgiving Eve and Ash Wednesday. The services are an extended time of worship, a short time of teaching and reflection, communion, and (for Ash Wednesday) the ashes. What a powerful time.

For Lent, I gave up facebook. It as been interesting because I don't miss it. Even though I did dream about reading status updates last night and throughout the day my thoughts revolve around "Bethany is...". I miss chatting with friends, but I don't miss the endless, often unimportant statuses, links, updates, and posts to read. I also do not miss how easy it is to compare my life to others, well, what they put on facebook. So, for me, I've learned, in a small way, it is about giving up something you think you cannot live without and realizing, in even a small way, God truly is all you need.

Stamped

Our church is doing a series call the 6:8 Project, focusing on Micah 6:8. One experience this week involves eating like the world's poor: rice, beans, oats, tap water, that's it. Next week, we will be packing food to send overseas as Feed My Starving Children will be setting up a packing line at our church. But this evening, a girl from my small group and I went to the Experience:AIDS World Vision had set up at our church.

Upon entering the gym, I was given an audio device to walk me through the tour. I got Kombo's story, which you can see here. It is a story of a small boy growing up in Kenya. His father is gone and his mother dies of AIDS. During part of the experience, I, as Kombo, walked into a "clinic" to be tested for AIDS. When the audio prompted me, I went up to a station and got my hand stamped. I got a red X, I had AIDS. My heart sank. "Snap out of it! Its just an audio tour! Its just a stupid stamp!" I thought as my heart sank. And then the reality hit...for some people, for Kombo (a real child), this was a real experience. They can't turn off the audio tour, they don't hand their headphones back at the end, they can't wash off the stamp. However unfair it may be, they have AIDS. What a heart wrenching experience! To experience my heart sink upon receiving that stamp and then the reality of experiencing it 1,000 times worse, was wrenching.

Upon exiting the exhibit, I read through the other stories and realized that the audio tour I was given was the only Kenyan child. It touched me closely because the child I sponsor, Desma, is in Kenya. Similar to Kombo, she has no memory of her father and during the time I've sponsored her, her mother has died of AIDS. It is hard to comprehend that these are real people, real lives, real situations. They happen every day, thousands of miles away. I need to 1) write to Desma more and 2) pray for her more. It is easier to remember to pray for the people I influence and see on a daily basis, but hard to remember Desma whom I've never met and lives miles away.

It was a touching experience. A quiet, relaxed, moving experience.

Church

There have been exciting things going on at my church. We started in September with an intense, regulars-focused series on the church's vision and raising money to build two new churches in the metro area. Money, money money! Its simply something every church needs if it is going to put on these type of services. But money is not what the church is all about, and they wanted to make that clear, so our next series (which we are currently wrapping up) was very seeker-friendly, designed to invite your friends who are far from God. Over the last few weeks, I have seen visitors nervously check in their children and hesitantly go to the service and the next week they do the same process with ease and joy! I've seen my own friends come not once but twice and say how they were just thinking of the sermon topic in the car on the way over! People are coming and our services are more packed than they've ever been. People, people, people! But still, that is not what this is about. Which brings me to this week...our Christmas Eve services. Our Christmas Eve service is a "Say YES" service in both the adult service and kids programming. This is the service where the pastor gives a very focused message and invitiation to say YES to Jesus. This is what church is about! The life change that Jesus brings into lives is key! Some might say, well, every service should be a YES service, and casually, if you look for it, they are, but every service is very strategic, pulling people in who have been hurt by the church or have had bad experiences with the church or simply have never been to the church. If every service was a blatant say YES service, people may be turned away or those who are Christians might not get a chance to grow in their faith. So, I'm excited for the "Say YES" service and I'm excited the church did not simply invite people to this one service, but invited them to a month of services which culminate this week in a powerful way!

No Perfect People

This evening I skated round and round and round, meticulously doing my mohawk and 3-turn steps. I did a few pretty well, but was disappointed by the imperfections they contained. The tester passed me anyways and I almost felt bad, as if I didn't deserve to pass. She sent me off with a reminder that they don't have to be perfect and I'll have plenty of time to keep working on them in the next levels. While I'm not going to get bent out of shape about it, I like doing things perfect.

Last night, after class, I made a peach pie. As I sliced the peaches, I noticed they weren't as ripe and juicy as the first time I had made the pie. And upon filling it, I notices it was rather flat. I chucked it in the oven anyways and submitted it to our neighborhood's National Night Out bake off. I won! The pie was far from perfect, but sometimes Best if as good as Perfect.

With skating and pie baking in mind, I met up with my neighbors this evening for our party, and as we sat watching the police break up something at the park across the street, I was struck more and more about how imperfect we all are. AND ITS OK!!! I heard three sermons (yes, I know, I'm a nerd) this weekend, all proclaiming that GOD IS FOR IMPERFECT PEOPLE not against them. God is on our side...on my side, on your side. He is fighting for us and loves us.

What gets me about Jesus is that people didn't have to pretend around Him. The prostitutes were prostitutes, the tax collectors were tax collectors. Jesus was a party boy. He hung out with a crazy group of people! He went right up and hugged them. He went right into their homes. They didn't scurry around hiding their lives from Him. They didn't pretend to be something they weren't. They didn't clean up their act for him. They were just themselves. I think the church misses the mark on this one by a long shot. When people come to church, they feel they have to dress a certain way, act a certain way, say certain things. And, sadly, I think, if they were honest, a lot of church goers wouldn't want people coming in and messing up their comfortable services. Have you ever heard anyone say to the pastor, "hey, sorry I was a little late, I'm still a bit hung over from last night"? I think Jesus would be ok with this. Does He want us to live by His plan, well, yes, but first and foremost, He loves us, He already knows us, He wants us to be real with Him. So, two questions: how do people feel around you? Do they feel like they must pretend? Why? How can Christians and the church make people feel free to be themselves?

Life

I haven't posted in a while so thought I'd give out my two cents.
Life has been busy and fun. My brother and sister-in-law are visiting from Texas so I have been spending a lot of time with them and with my family up at the cabin. There is the never-ending cleaning that must be done and since it is the beginning of the month, bills must be paid. Plus I have weekly class and ice skating lessons (which will be cut this fall due to starting graduate school). I can not believe it is August. This summer has been chilly and has gone fast!

Tomorrow I start the MBA program and on Thursday night I have my final Statistics class! I have made great friends in that class so it will be hard to part ways. I am nervous and excited about starting the MBA.

I did a church visit this morning. I am happy with my current church but like to check out area churches every fall. I started this last fall and enjoyed seeing the worship of God take on various forms and flavors throughout the Twin Cities. This morning I visited Real Life Church and was thoroughly impressed. It was done with excellence and very real, as their name described. Between that church visit and my normal church attendance this week, I am struck by how much we can allow ourselves to live lives of mediocrity. It is very easy. How much courage life takes to life a full life as God intended! It is not easy.

Waiting and the End Results

I've been learning a little life lesson recently. I'll start with the metaphor: ice skating of course :-). In my ice skating lessons, I've been learning 3-turns. I'll admit, they should be easy, but for me, I'm feeling rather uncoordinated and having a hard time with them. The thing about 3-turns is you can't force them. To do a 3-turn, you skate forward on one foot, turn your body to face backwards and your foot will turn on a dime so you are now going backwards. The thing that gets me is focusing on the end result. I focus so much on turning my foot...I want to do a 3-turn. But my teacher constantly reminds me, I need to just let it happen. I need to turn my body first (my head, my arms, my shoulder, etc) until last-but-not-least my little foot just has to turn.

We heard a sermon at church this past weekend along the same lines. It was Bill Hybels' sermon on "Holy Discontent". He talks about how something might bug you, a pssion God has given you, and it bugs you and irritates you until you can't stand it anymore. You get so annoyed that you simply must do something. Many times people focus on the doing something part and do not consider the passions God has given them. They think they will just start volunteering somewhere or helping people, which isn't bad, but God maybe giving them an even bigger dream if they stop being busy for a moment and look to Him.

Just like doing 3-turns, there are so many things in life that are exciting and we want to be at the end results, but many times, its not just about the end results, its about waiting patiently and growing in the meantime, its about things God wants to teach us so that we may better enjoy and understand the end results.

Barb

Its been a while since I did a church visit, but a few weeks ago I went to Sovereign Grace Community Church. It is part of a community of churches my aunt mentioned I should try out. It meets in a local high school auditorium. I'm happy with the church I currently go to on Saturday nights, but it leaves Sunday mornings open to try out other places. This church was filled to the brims with large families. I felt a little out of place because I wasn't wearing a denim skirt like all the other women ;-) I knew few of the songs and the pastor's sermon was nothing to write home about. HOWEVER...I'd give it another try. I felt welcomed there. All because of Barb. Walking in, I was given a mummbled "welcome" from the greeters, pointed in the direction of the auditorium, and given the familiar "you must be a visitor" look. I sat down and waited for the service to start. A lady came over, said 'hi', firmly shook my hand, and said, "My name's Barb! I haven't seen you here before? Is this your first time visiting?". We chatted for a few mintues and she mentioned going to find her kids before service started. She ended with a, "Nice to meet you. I'll see you after service and we'll chat more." I sat there in shock! After service? I had been invited to stay and chat? Often at church, we are good at saying "visitors are welcome to stick around for coffee and snacks" but we often are saying it to ourselves or it falls on deaf ears that have just heard about the offering we are going to receive. But being specifically invited to chat with a new found friend made staying worth doing. Someone knows I'm here. Someone wants to talk to me. Or, my biggest thought, someone will know if I ditch out early (which I did...I had plans that didn't permit me to stay long after, maybe next time). Amazing. Barb has it right. She's the best greeter ever and I doubt that was her official role for the day. I mean, when was the last time you remembered the name of a church greeter?

What Happened to Friendship?

I am starting to think it is “sooo 1990’s” to think that love=sex. It seems that the new trend for the 2000s is friendship=sex. Having the day off, I tuned into Dr. Phil and Oprah. Both shows were about same sex marriage, being gay, and being lesbian. The people in relationships often have great things to say about each other. They were attracted to the other people’s personality at first. But beyond that, physical intimacy was added. It seems that we, as a society, have lost sight of how to be good friends…just friends. We admire someone, we enjoy being with them, we talk, we make memories, we share secrets, we laugh…and now, we have sex? It is hard for boys and girls to be just friends, but now, girls and girls can’t be just friends, boys and boys can’t be just friends. We are confused in our relationships. We don’t trust people. We are paranoid about them. And yet, we desire intimacy, we desire to trust people and think being physical will fulfill that need.

I think our relationship confusion hinders our ability to form community. There is no trust and honesty when we don’t know how to be friends. Our friendships grow and die at rapid paces. With our growing dependence on cyber relationships, where people put their best foot forward, our friendships grow quickly. With the lack of cyber relationships in the past, few people know how to deal with failed cyber relationships. The dream, the best foot forward, idealist relationship dies with a confused bang. With our added physical acts, our relationships die with a bang, causing more mistrust. How can we have community in a large group when we can’t even have intimate, non-sexual relationships between two people?

While we have lost our bodily boundaries, we have not lost our desire for intimacy with each other. Thoughts?

My Little Bro

My little brother had a good post the other day, so I thought I'd share that:

http://itriedtrying.blogspot.com/2009/05/christian-crazies.html

Our Father...Who Art In Heaven...

There's something about the Lord's Prayer. Mumbled at the end of countless meeting at the church where I worked, I found it to be rote and dry, merely words without heart, a cultish chant. But I've been re-thinking these words and have come to find the age-less, pure words focusing, uniting, and pure. There's something about each and every word. As I uttered "our..." I was reminded of the common bond Christians and all humanity have. We are all in need of a Father, the Saviour. Wow. All that from one word. Being a "Baptist", I like to change up the words and be a little more specific or imaginative to keep the "chant" from becoming cultish once again...bring on the trespasses vs. temptations debate :-)

Face to Face

Imagine you and I plan to meet for coffee. You're there, ready for my arrival. I show up with my brother, my tv, a deck of cards, my ipod, and a treadmill (it looks like a Verizon commercial). We sit down to coffee. While I'm talking with you and drinking my coffee, I'm talking with my brother, watching tv, playing solitaire, listening to music, and walking on my treadmill. Would you feel like we were having quality time? I would hope not. Would you feel valued in the presence of my entourage? Probably not.

Yet, this is what I see happening in our society. I sit at my home, online, watching tv, chatting online with multiple friends, talking on the phone, eating dinner, playing solitaire, and sometimes lifting hand weights...all at the same time! While this is alright once in a while, this is no way to socialize and no way to maintain the close friendships God desires for us, has designed for us, as catalysts of growth for us and others. A smaller and smaller percentage of our conversations anymore are face to face. Every day there are new ways to communicate faceless. Taking into consideration that much of conversation is non-verbal, this is sad and confusing. We are losing the art of live face-to-face conversation. I'd like to see a study on eye contact. I bet our eye contact is not what it used to be.

I think we also do this with God. Whether you are an introvert or extravert, the thought of spending even ten quiet, still minutes face-to-face with God sounds like a lazy waste. It is sad because even ten minutes are so powerful. So, stop, you can do it. You can take the next 10 minutes. Go in Peace.

Easter Extravaganza!

Whew! This weekend was busy! So much happened, but let me narrow it down to one event: church. This weekend's schedule included five church services at three different churches. As my dad says, "Now we don't have to go until Christmas!"

Service 1: Good Friday at my local Lutheran church
A very traditional, liturgical service complete with extinguishing candles and the sanctuary going dark at the end. It sent a shiver up my spine and I have never felt more "scared" at church before. No, they did not slam the book shut.

Service 2: Volunteering in the kids ministry at my church
Always fun, we had about 60 kids when we usually have around 20.

Service 3: Saturday night Easter service at my church
This was their first time there. They liked it. My church focuses on a few things and does them over-the-top well. My mom commented, "This is the Disney World of churches."

Service 4: My parent's local Lutheran church
After Disney church, we decided we missed the traditional, so woke up for 6am service at their local Lutheran church. A youth lead service, it was liturgical and contemporary. Communion was served. They can fit a lot of people all around their stage for communion. By the third round (our turn) we notice communion wafers (which our friends fondly call "Christ chex") litering the floor. The air-light wafers were flying off the plate as the priests and vicar hurridly served the sacrament. We tried not to laugh.

Service 5: My parent's church
Off to my paren'ts church for a different kind of liturgy. They do the same thing every year and my mom and I predicted it to a T. Say "He is risen!" (though he might have said "He is reason") which is answered by cheering and clapping. The pastor always says, "We celebrate Easter every day!". And Kirk Franklin's "Hero" is sung. Ah, Easter.

Off to our friends for dinner and the Easter weekend is over.

A Vulnerable God

I often like to think of God as strong and in control, but a service I went to tonight helped me think about God in another aspect, the aspect of a vulnerable and rejected God. As we anticipate Easter, I see God in this new light. Like a high school boy asking out a girl he likes, the perfect God thoughtfully says "I love you" to us desperately flawed human beings, giving up His control and risking rejection (one of the worst feelings). He knows people will reject Him and yet, He loves us so much and knows that we need His love. He choses to share His perfect love with such fallen humans.

Jesus served his disciples by washing their feet, touching the dirt they had picked up from where they had been. Jesus is not afraid of where they've been. He humbles Himself, touches their dirty lives, and offers His perfect love. When I hear this footwashing story being told, it is often followed with comments such as "Be like Jesus" or "Be a servant like Jesus" and we are encouraged to picture ourselves as the one washing feet. But we need to remember that our feet too need washed and Jesus has offered to wash them. Our part is simply to accept His love. Simple, right? I find this hard. It is easy for me to admit I'm not perfect. It is easy for me to admit there is a hole in my heart. But it is hard for me to accept that a perfect, flawless God loves me so much He has risked rejection to love me. It is hard for me to sit and let Him wash my dirty, stinky feet. I'm overwhelmed by all the love God gives me when I am so un-deserving, so unlovable.

The Horrible Man

I haven't written in a long time. I've had a lot to think about and life has been busy, but here we go:

Recounting a news story he was reading off his iphone, my friend told us about the man who entered an Illinois church, shooting and ultimately killing the pastor (http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/03/08/church.shooting/index.html). An eight-year-old at the table muttered, shaking her head, "What a horrible man!" While a few at the table nodded in agreement, I was taken aback. Saturday night I had gone to church with my friend and heard a sermon based on Luke 18:9-14 (I will post it later). This passage is a parable about a pharisee (religious leader) and a tax collector (an unfair traitor) coming to the temple to pray. I came away from the sermon learning that we are all equal, we are all sinners. God saw the religious leader and the unfair traitor on the same level. None is greater than the other. I am no better than the horrible man in Illinois. So, I spoke up, "No, he is not a horrible man. He made a bad decision." The eight year old was surprised, "But why would he do that?" "I'm not sure," I replied, "maybe he was mad or hurt, but he is not horrible. He is no different than us." How easy it is to be like the pharisee: earning God's love. The thing is, God's love can't be earned. It is freely given. God loves us as much as He ever will. He will never love us less. He will not love the Horrible Man less. How radical! We can experience less or more of His love in our lives when we allow it, but His love remains constant....for you....for me....for the Horrible Man. But how do we change our thinking to this radical way of ascribing God's infinite worth to everyone we meet? We see it in the Disciples' question in Luke 17:5 where God talks about radical forgiveness. They simply say, "Lord, increase our faith." It is only when we experience God's radical love and forgiveness in our own lives that we can then project it on to others and see them the way God sees them.

Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTsYAZvHsEQ

The Power of Positive Words

I said a lot of stupid, ridiculous, mean words yesterday. Some were about people I know. Some where simply in judgement of people I don't know. I am mean! And I should know the power of negative words. I used to work at a church where I was told many negative comments, hurtful lies, and downright mean things about me, my staff, and my plans for the ministry I was leading. Mean words hurt yes, but they also have the power to haunt. I'm not being superstitious or weird, just follow me here. When people hear mean words, the means words stick with them whether they like it or not...whether they were intentional or not. Now, when I try to minister, all the mean words I heard at church flood back into my brain. I am on a constant quest to override them with the new, kind words I'm hearing "we're glad you're here!" "thanks for helping!" I've been convicted recently to fill my mind and mouth with positive words, to build people up instead of tear them down. Life is too short to tear people down. Life is not long enough to build people up. But the most important thing to remember about mean words is that they come from mere, fallen human beings. Load your brain with positive words from God. Know that you are loved by Him and nothing you can do can take you from Him. :-) The pastor I grew up listening to says it well: "Make a point to ascribe God's infinite worth to everyone you meet."

Holy Discontent

These lyrics frequently come to my mind:

One Pure and Holy Passion - Passion

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

I've been thinking lately about "holy discontent". I heard this phrase at a conference some time ago. A holy discontent is something that you are so passionate about, it almost makes me angry. It is such a strong urge that it drives you to action. You HAVE to do something. You can not sit by and watch any more. This song reminds me to keep that holy discontent God centered. There's no use in having a holy discontent about anything else.

Hosanna

I have always loved the word "Hosanna". For some reason, there is so much power and grace behind it. Dictionary.com defines 'hosanna' this way:

ho⋅san⋅na 
 /hoʊˈzænə/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [hoh-zan-uh] Show IPA Pronunciation interjection, noun, plural -nas, verb, -naed, -na⋅ing.
–interjection
1. (an exclamation, originally an appeal to God for deliverance, used in praise of God or Christ.) -noun
2. a cry of “hosanna.”
3. a shout of praise or adoration; an acclamation.–verb (used with object)
4. to praise, applaud, etc.: The critics hosannaed his new play.
Origin: < LL (h)ōsanna < Gk ōsanná < Heb hōsh(i) ʿāh nnā save, we pray; r. ME, OE osanna < LL, as above

I love that it is a shout of crying out for a savior and also a shout of praise. They go hand in hand and the single word seems to capture it all: joy, elation, despair, panic, rescue, and safe-keeping. I love songs that use the word. Recently, our church has been singing "Hosanna" by Hillsong United. I love the bridge, I think it is a powerful prayer:

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
-from Hosanna by Hillsong United

New Blog - Church Quest

I haven't been to church all summer (shameful I know). Also, this is the first fall in five years I have not been working at a church. So I thought I'd go out and see the body of Christ in different forms all over the metro! Join the journey here!

Surrender

Why is it so hard to surrender to God? Why is it so hard to follow the path He has laid out for us? Surrender should be so easy! All we have to do is open our hands and let God do His work. Why does it hurt sometimes? I've seen God lay things right in my lap and I don't know what to do! Its so easy, just let God do His work! He is God. He is Powerful. We plan and worry til we drive ourselves crazy only to find something completely different we could have never planned that God has for us. Just think of the story of Jonah. God told him, "Go to Nineveh". How hard would that have been? Yet, Jonah raised a fuss and...you can read the rest.

Oh How He Loves Us!

I'll be lazy with this post. Its a video from YouTube. My laziness is due to pantry bugs I had this past week mixed with the prep for my trip. Fortunately, these are not a sign of my inability to clean but rather due to an infected item from the grocer that was not consumed before the eggs could hatch (eewwwww!!!). Plus I'm packing for my trip (or putting it off since I appear to be Blogging :-) )

This isn't my favorite song, I think the singer is terrible (she reminds me of Amy Winehouse -eyes roll in disgust!-) but I think the imagery of the words is interestingly different to ponder.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps&feature=related

For further reading, you can check out Matt's thoughts on it.

p.s. Taylor wrote about it too.